Dissertate or die, amongst other things.

So, I am working on my dissertation tonight and the rest of the week like most of the people on my course and a couple of friends who study textiles. I really should be more on top of things than I am, but I'm putting not being due to a couple of reasons....

1. I'm just lazy.... I love the theory side to my course but I really haven't been motivated... mainly to the following reasons!
2. My dissertation tutor... I'm sure she hates me a little bit. I felt like she shot down every idea that I had.... at one stage she told me that "it sounded a bit shit". Ummm thanks... So anyway, I spoke to another tutor, he allowed to explain myself properly (which is something I felt she didn't) and he told me it all sounded fine and recommended heaps to read...since then its be going ok.... I think I just work better under stress... however I'm not as stressed as I should be... WTF.
3. Lastly, I was in New York until the day before uni started... and I was working every day whilst I was out there (more to come on that another day I think). So I wasn't really prepared when I went to my first dissertation seminar...

Full of excuses... Thats me...

So I'm writing my dissertation about the intimate experiences we have with photographs. This all stemmed from Roland Barthes text Camera Lucida and the idea of the Punctum. Whilst in New York I found an image that I though I had experienced this idea of the punctum with... after further analysis I found out that what I experienced was something else. So in short that is what I am writing about, I am writing it from a personal view and my responses to images back up by a whole lot of theory. As well as a chapter on something to do with the gallery experience and the act of collecting. I'll be honest... I'm totally worried about it... But it's too late to worry about it now. What is done is done.... well it will be done... soon I hope!!! So that is my dissertation. However, I have been reading a lot of by Carol Mavor. I really recommend her. She writes about Victorian photography, her experiences with it and Roland Barthes amongst other things. Reading her work has made me a little more comfortable with the style I am writing in!

On a more positive note we had this blu tak exhibition thing back in December for uni. It was exhibition that was to show our progress with the rest of our year. I was really happy with mine, these are the images I exhibited... excuse the quality...

Both of these photographs were taken in New York whilst I was working there in the summer. I start off by photographing places of importance, New York is important to me because its where I want to be. The gallery I want to intern for is there. Since this project has developed over Christmas I have photographed in a cathedral as many people thought the first image was taken in a church, it was in fact take in The Met in nyc. There is this idea within that churches and galleries have a similar sort of relationship, both are places of reflection, works of art displayed within them, they can both be grand or understated, you can be amongst a group of people but totally alone, both can have a deathly silence etc. This is the very beginning of my project and my responses aren't critical enough but once I get reading I will be able to explain myself a little better!!! I hope!

I have used a Diana camera for this work, a cheap plastic camera. I love this camera. I love not knowing what I am going to get in terms of exposure, colours and what will actually be in my shot. I have used this camera many times so I am more aware of what I am getting and how long to exposure the shot for. However what I get is still hit or miss. But this is what I wanted. I wanted this idea of a place becoming confused. I hope to photograph a series of places that are important to me but others can recognise there places within them. So yes, they are meant to be a mixture of areas of focus as well as lack of focus and camera shake... and double exposure! These are all very important to me!

Lots of ideas going on really!

So I was very pleased with my work, and it appears that so was my dissertation tutor... Well actually she was surprised to see that it was mine. Nice to hear that she has such high regard for me. B!tch! Oh well, I think I have got to the point where I don't care what lecturers, tutors etc think. If you make work just to please them they will either hate or love it but you won't be happy with it yourself.

So someone else who has used a Diana camera is Nancy Rexroth, and she was actually my inspiration for my dissertation. I worked along side a picture of hers in a gallery every day for a month. This is the image previously mentioned that I felt I had experienced that idea of the punctum with.

Bed time I think....